When Jeremy isn’t playing with cars or nude women, he likes to opine about less important subjects. He is one of a select few celebrities who has been blamed for poor denim sales, and was once hit in the face with a banana-meringue pie. This is the real Jeremy Clarkson.

Laziness

Thursday January 31, 2008

I’ll be honest with you for a second here; I’m occasionally a very lazy man. There is nothing better I like doing than leaving my socks off, or lolling around the house for weeks on end in nothing but my pants. Not the same pants I’ll have you know, but differing sets of similar pant-like undergarments. However, laziness has to come to a messy end at some time or another, and that unfortunate time has now beckoned on me.

So I now have to do something with my blog. Like a dog inexplicably wanting to keep a hold of his damned bone, I wanted to keep hold of my sloth-like existence. I was enjoying it, but it appears I can’t ask for a blog creating for me then not use it. It’s not right or something. I’ll tell you what’s not right: interrupting a man’s right to be a lazy sloth-like creature.

It seems a little silly that I’m writing a semi-apology for being lazy before I’ve even written anything proper, and it probably looks quite strange to you lot too. Here you are, expecting a mass of witty articles from your favourite rag-writer only to find a series of pointless articles apologising for a delay you haven’t experienced.

Just forgive me dear reader. And check back some time next century when I write another apology.